Mindful Consultation
    individual, couples & family therapy

Marital/Couples Therapy

Click on these links to jump to desired section:

    •Marital / Pre-Marital / Couples Counseling 
    •Affairs & Trust Building 
    •Divorce & Remarriage Concerns

 Marital; Pre-Marital; Couples Counseling:

While people typically seek to involve themselves in a satisfying romantic relationship, in reality this can be a challenge to pull off and definitely requires some work.  Many times individuals enter relationships with different expectations, diverse backgrounds and unique experiences and because of this, they may also have different ideas about what a successful relationship looks like.  They also bring their own distinctive needs and views on what their role in the relationship is supposed to be, which can get confusing.  Sometimes individuals in long-term relationships feel stuck, or become discouraged about issues they just can’t seem to resolve.


I provide couples counseling to married couples, those thinking about getting married and those involved in non-traditional, yet committed relationships.  My aim is to form strong alliances with both partners and be an unbiased advocate for them to further their process of communication.  I attempt to create a safe environment for each partner to express himself or herself and offer support as they both make changes they feel with move their relationship forward. 


 Affairs & Trust Building:

Affairs can be a major crisis in any relationship.  They typically lead to uncertainty about the future and whether to stay together, or split up.  It is necessary to think about the causes, the effects and how you intend to handle its impact.  Some of the most common effects of affairs include: a deep sense of hurt, loss of trust, guilt, anger, humiliation, worry about the effects, etc.  Relationships can survive affairs if there is good communication, an understanding about what led to the affair and ways to rebuild the trust.


Because these topics are so emotionally charged, it is often useful to involve unbiased third parties to help mediate the situation.  Counseling can help you work through these areas, avoid hasty decisions, manage complicated emotions and develop new skills, each of which can help you get through these challenging times. 


 Divorce, Remarriage Concerns:

Many couples try at least one attempt at “reconciliation” prior to divorce, but unless both partners sincerely desire to repair the relationship, couples often emerge from this attempt angrier than when they began.  When one partner is committed to divorce, sometimes divorce counseling is a better option, as it seeks to end the marriage peacefully.  The objective is to keep the discussion off guilt and blaming and help the couple reach the conclusion that the marriage is over.  Divorce can leave behind a lot of insecurities, anger, bitterness, low self-esteem and more.  Divorce counseling seeks to assist the divorcing parties in addressing these areas.  This is useful not only for the individuals involved, but also when children are involved, as they are often negatively impacted by these emotions.  When this is done successfully, the couple can usually manage a cooperative and non-destructive divorce.


Where children are involved and one party decides to remarry, this can create complex situations.  Children may experience unresolved grief due to the separation from their biological parent and visitations can be stressful.  Different parenting styles may come into play and sibling rivalry can take on new dimensions.  The positive side to all this is that increase stress in such situations is the norm and should not necessarily be a cause for alarm.  Planning ahead to address these issues is often useful, as is learning to be patient and having realistic expectations.  In the end, children need to feel safe, secure, loved and seen as valued members of their new family, even though this may take some time to develop. 




James Chmielewski

1010 Lake Street – Suite 502A

Oak Park, IL 60301

O: (773) 430-9519 / F: (773) 889-2340

jchmielewski@aol.com / www.jc-therapy.com




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